Hello my love, it's been a while.
Hoping all is alright on this evening,
even though I cannot exactly ask.
Sad to say, I've been thinking of you;
Wondering how you fare as an adult,
in college, driving, free. Without myself
as a friend to comfort you if you are troubled,
Yet I'm positive you have no worries just yet.
I apologize for breaking that promise I made,
though unspoken, about leaving you alone
to live your life. It pains me when I feel
the urges to say 'Ey', or like a post of yours,
and I pity myself when I do just that.
You don't need me, I know this, love.
I'm sure we don't need each other.
I made a huge step by not sending
you a letter this summer, however.
It still warms my heart to know
you are alright. I smile when I see posts
about your adventures as an adult,
I share your happiness and exhaustion.
I listened to songs of you, so to say,
as they tackled me with nostalgia
of stories we'd tell, of the days when
it wasn't a crime to talk to you.
When it was all innocent, naive,
when we didn't have worries
of the later years.
I wish I could speak to you as if
we were still that innocent, love.
Yet with so much history you could write
a text book about us, so much learned
from these past years, we've grown silent
and time together fleeting. It's for the best,
my sweet. You and I know this well.
I share a bed with a man I love.
It's funny how, years ago,
we both dreamed of waking up in
each others arms with a smile and kiss.
My dear, I don't want us to be lovers.
Can we forget that desire ever existed?
Can we go back to casual conversations,
laughing, loving each other like siblings?
Can we go back to our innocence,
before the history, before the silence,
and meet once again?
