Her

So, I can't say much because, even on a blog where no one knows who I'm talking about, I'd still feel guilty. But simply put:

I spoke to her today. Yeah, 'her', the girl I had a crush on a little over a year ago? It's funny, because I pushed my feelings aside for a long time, and they only really ever come through when I talk to her. But it's never been a physical attraction as I've said in other posts. No, this is a pure emotional love. I want her to know how beautiful she is inside and out, how I understand her and support her, and I never, ever, want to see her upset.

I knew for a while now that she loves this one person, and now that she bluntly tells me, I'm honestly surprised I'm not sad. Maybe because I know the person she loves, and because she was so fricken adorable and happy when she was telling me and how they planned out their life together even though they technically haven't officially confessed to each other or asked each other out. But it's funny, because though I love 1 to pieces, I genuinely love Hex too. But, I guess that love changed forms ne? I mean, a love that I can be fine with giving up, as long as she's happy.

I always thought that lesbians would have better luck with relationships than hetero or 'gay', to be honest. Because while with most 'gay' relationships I've heard of and straight ones there's more of a strong physical attraction and most of the relationship revolves around make-out sessions and sex, and most straight people(yes, even the straight half of me) tend to have that need for physical over emotional at some points, lesbians aren't really interested in sex or anything of that nature. They focus on the emotional aspect of a relationship, which is how more people should look at relationships. The fact that they feel comfortable talking to that person, that they can trust them with everything and the only thing they want is for the other person to be genuinely happy by their side and don't need any kind of physical thing(well, minus cuddling or a hug of course =w=).. While that is a decent amount of my current relationship, I'm surprised that's even lasting as long as it is.

So now, I'll be grateful for my current relationship and the friendship I have with Hex, while I happily listen to her go on about her love. ^^