"I know, my dearest daughter, and I cannot describe how sorry I feel." My bruised lip trembles. "Yet your silence, your lack of reaction, is not making this any easier!" Anger surges through me, enough to extract a yelp from her. I cringe and smile almost exactly the same time, bringing fear to her eyes. "That's right, my child.. My love.." I start to sob again, uncontrollably. "Whimper. Scream. Curse me off, fight back, hell, even enjoy it if you so wish! I don't care what or how you react by, but please, PLEASE, let me have this one night. And please don't be an unreadable stone.." I cannot look her in the eyes, I'm so ashamed, broken. This state lasts for close to five minutes when, ever so softly, my angel speaks.
"Miles.." The fear in her voice is overwhelming, and I cannot help but to look up at her. With the saddest smile she could muster, she lifts her face, closer, and as she kisses me a stray tear falls from her eye. With that one tear all of my reluctance, my doubts, and any possible pity was washed away, and a smile stains my face. Her kisses are sweet, soft, and though they are obviously forced, they are Novalei's, only not. It's so difficult for my lonely mind and body to tell the difference..
I am slow, gentle as I lift her up from the bed into my lap, and the kisses intensify. She accepts my tongue, my touch, my love. Hell, she even plays along, her tongue shyly dancing with my own. Her eyes are closed and I can only wonder what she's envisioning, what she is feeling.Whatever it is, she likes it, and lets out a soft sigh of protest as I let my lips travel away from her own. Letting out a small chuckle I start to kiss lower, down her neck. She obliges by tilting her head up, and her arms loosely snake around me. "Good girl.." I breathe into her skin, making the both of us shudder, and start to kiss even lower. This is so right, so deliciously perfect.. And I know I'm going straight into the depths of hell once I breathe my last breath. I don't dare think of it, or of any thoughts that would ruin this perfect scene playing out before me. I reach my arms around her and silently untie her corseted gown, and I can feel her stiffen in fear. I reassure her with a kiss on the lips, smooth out her hair with my other hand. It isn't long before her gown slips off and my hands drift over the curves of her body. She is well endowed for a fifteen year old. She must have gotten that from her mother. Her mother..
Suddenly I am not in my bed, but the Blacksmith shed behind my dearest Novalei's home. We are laughing, sitting side-by-side in the corner of the shed. All of a sudden her smile fades, and she abruptly exits. I follow her and catch her just in time to move her hair out of her face before she heaves at the ground, any food in her system spewing out. "My sweetest Novalei, are you alright?"I rub her back, wait for her to finish. I can see tears drop from her eyes to the soiled ground, which makes me worry even more. "Shall I get your father?"
"No!" It sounds painful, fearful, and oddly similar to Ever's. I gently turn her face to meet mine, look at her weak features. Her eyes escape my gaze, which breaks my heart.Her voice is her own again as she speaks, "Please forgive me, my prince.. I fear that.. that I may be.." She doesn't even have to finish her statement for me to know.
Pregnant. With Ever.The young woman I'm about to bed, right now. Right in the bed I shared with Novalei on the night she was conceived. Guilt churns in my stomach, threatens to come up. My eyes open, and I realize what I am currently doing. Her undergarments are pulled down, breasts exposed, my lips around one of them. I don't have to look up to know she's letting silent tears fall. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach; How could I have let myself go this far? How could she let myself go this far? I back away immediately, turn away. I hear the sheets rustle and only assume she's hiding her exposed body with them. I want to run right into enemy fire, slam my body against a wall until I cannot remember anything. And her.. my angel, my daughter, my Everlasting Love.. I wanted to take back this night, make sure she never lived it. I stand and start to walk to the bathroom inside my chamber. "Put your clothes back on, child. I'm done with you." My voice is uneasy, anguished. But I can feel the relief radiating off of her, and before I close the bathroom door, I hear her tiny voice.
"Thank you."
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