26

That's how old my sister will be in less than an hour.

Kind of scary, huh? A is 26, been out of the house since she was 18, is a hard-working mother of three and trying to become an author.

She's responsible, a sweetheart. Not the brightest, but still does whatever she needs to to take care ofher children.

Will I end up like her? Not that that's really a bad thing. I mean, minus marrying a bastard and having to slave over 2 jobs and being a mother two a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a kid not even 1.

I never was one for marriage or children. Was one of the only girls I knew who didn't fantasize about her wedding. I always told myself I'd adopt, find someone who I can be with without the legality of marriage.

I know, however, I won't be anything like my other sister, Cee. Cee worked her ass off to become an 8th grade science teacher. Found a boyfriend who is perfect for her, and everything's very slowly falling into place.

No, I don't think I'd ever be that lucky. I may not be completely dumb, I know responsibility, and I do have ambition. But I also have illnesses. Physical, Mental, more Mental than anything. I'll probably die of insanity before I even make it through college.

I've decided to, like A, not go straight to college. But I'm not going to just settle down, have a kid or three. Okay, that's a bit harsh. But what I mean is, I want to just work my ass off at my job this year. Save up for college, learn how to manage a house. Spend time with 1.

1 and I have become very close in the past 8 months. We've always been close, but it's getting even more complex. I feel myself forgetting about everything but him, relationship wise. We've never had a fight, or lack of trust. I've never doubted him, even now, and I'm sure he never doubted me. He has no reason to. I don't think I would ever be able to be unfaithful to someone as amazing as him.

Honestly, it got to the point where marriage actually did cross my mind. Marriage, settling in together. Haven't thought about kids yet, don't think I ever want to. But I could see us, a happy couple. We both work during days, get home, I'd make supper and we'd talk about each others day. Maybe cuddle up and watch a movie, play video games together or even go out for a walk. I would wake up the next morning, prepare a breakfast for the both of us, gently stir him awake with a kiss on the cheek and we'd spend a few minutes in eachother's arms before I have to go to work.

It would be simple, wonderful. I haven't really spoke anything about this, though. I try not to- I try not to say anything that might scare either of us. I guess he's the same way, really.

It's funny how, even when I was with 2, or 3, or even 1 when we first dated, I always had it set on my mind that I would go to college, become a translator, over to Japan. Wouldn't let a relationship interfere with that. Even when I was head-over-heels in love with 2, I still had my business future in mind.

I don't know what it is, making me change my mind. But I'm not too sure I'm concerned with my decisions.