There were days where I imagined meeting her again, but never like this. It's been about five or so years after we graduated college, the whole lot of us. I haven't spoken to her, let alone seen her, since we parted ways in every meaning. I ended up married and expecting before I even knew it, with a steady job at a research lab, but as for her.. well, I never expected to see her at my doorstep on such a winter's night.
She leaves a gentle knock on the door, three soft thumps. It is about twenty past midnight, and the noise caught me just as I was about to go to bed. "Just a minute." I call, not hearing anything in reply. For the heck of it I glance out the window to look for a car, but see nothing that hasn't been covered by a mound of snow. I simply shrug it off and make my way over to the door. Before I unlock it I speak again. "Who's there?"
"A friend." Her voice is soft yet gravely, as if she hadn't slept in weeks, but just from her tone I know immediately who it is. I feel myself tense up as I reach for the lock, and try to keep calm as I look at my former best friend. She's shorter than I remember, her once short hair is now in dark tangles down to her elbows. She's covered from the neck down in a large man's leather coat, completely zipped so that all you can see of her body was her feet, adorned with black heels. She refuses to look up at me, staring at her feet the whole time, and steps inside. I close the door behind her, yet keep it unlocked as I fish for something to say. She does so for me. "It's been a long while, Oliver. Forgive me for stopping by so late, and unanounced. I haven't your number anymore."
She's talking way too formally, carefully. Sure we didn't end on the best of terms, but it's obvious something's not right by the way she picks her words, and how she still won't look up at me. I motion to the couch. "Have a seat. Want some tea or anything?"
"A beer, if you please." She's not joking. I shake my head, but oblige, all the while looking at her. This wasn't the sweet, sarcastic, friendly girl that braved through high school with me, the girl I actually shared an apartment with during our first year of college. This was a broken soul, a mysterious stranger with the voice of an Angel. After getting her one and myself a bottle of coke, I sit opposite of her and try to make our eyes meet. Her stubbornness is the only quality she still has, it seems, as she still won't grant me her gaze. I sigh.
"So what brings you here, Angel? Or rather a lighter question to start out, how did you get here?" She doesn't make a sarcastic comeback at my own remark. After taking a long, savoring sip of the beer, she answers.
"Just felt like reconnecting with a familiar face is all. I was passing by on my walk home.."
"Walk? In this snowstorm? It's bad enough to be driving out there." I don't know how I didn't notice this, but she's sopping wet and shivering from the cold. Without a second thought I get up to grab her a towel. "Were you on your way home from work?" I call from the hallway.
"You could say that." I cringe at those words, feeling the worst possible meaning behind them. I sigh, making my way back with a towel and a blanket. She thanks me quietly as she dries her hair, draping the blanket over the rest of her. "But enough about me. What's new in your world?"
She's starting to warm up to me. Chuckling inwardly at my own pun, I smile lightly, looking towards a picture on the wall. "I'm married now. I've been for about two years, and my wife's expecting a baby." Probably not what she wanted to hear, especially considering her current condition, but it's the first thing that popped into my head. "I've been working for the research lab down the street as well, practically right after college."
She smiles, yet it doesn't shine through to her voice. "I knew you'd get that job.. It's all you ever talked about once we were in college." She remains quiet for a minute, then quickly glances up at me before looking right back down at the ground. "You seem to be doing just fine."
"And you?"
This time she shoots me a look, and our eyes finally meet. I see such pain, weakness in these eyes that I haven't seen since the day she moved out of my apartment. I feel a stab of guilt stronger than any knife, and she can tell. With a sigh she looks away,smoothing out her hair. "..I've had my hardships. But I'm alive, that's all that matters, right? Anyway, where's the lucky woman now? She'd probably flip seeing you with me.. It's Jan, isn't it?" I've almost forgotten that they knew each other.
"Yes. And she's visiting her parents right now. But enough about her, enough about me. Something's not right, and I want you to tell me."
"Bossy as ever, huh." I don't know if it's her or the beer talking, as this is the kind of remark I'd expect from her years ago. She takes a deep breath, stretches out the exhale as if taking a drag from a cigarette. "Let's just say I'm not doing as well as I should."
"Elaborate."
Silence.
"Angel!" I'm getting ticked off now, and I'm just about to pester her more when I see a tear stream down her left cheek. She shakes her head violently, trying her hardest not to cry, stifling her sobs. My expression softens and I walk up to her, putting a hand gently on her shoulder and kneeling down to meet her gaze. Only now is it evident from being this close that she reeks of sex and abuse. I bite my lip, shaking my head. "Angel.. You haven't.." I then realize she hasn't taken her jacket off. Pain strikes me again. "Are you wearing clothes underneath that?"
She shakes her head again, eyes closed, tears falling. I want to cry too, realizing that my best friend.. my first love.. was consumed by demons, her own and those of hungry men. My Angel, tainted by the devil.Part of me knows I'm the one to blame. I hold her close, cradle her in my arms for what seems like an eternity before she gently pushes away from me. "I should leave."
I look at the clock, a few minutes past one. The storm is still howling out there, and from the looks of it, she doesn't have a home to go back to. I shake my head, looking into her eyes and brushing her tears away. "I can't let you leave in your state. I'm calling Jan up, and you're staying here for the night.. You can go take a bath and borrow our clothes. "
"I really--"
"I am not throwing you back on the streets!" I dare raise my voice at her, and feel tears start to threaten my eyes. "I'm getting you to a clinic in the morning, whether you like it or not. We're getting you checked, and then I'm getting you help. And there's nothing you can say to change that." I calm myself down, not once taking my eyes off of her."Please, Angel. Let me help."
She takes a deep breath, and exhales away from me so I don't smell the alcohol any more than I already do. "I have no choice, do I?" Somehow her playful tone is back, and I can't help but smile. I help her to the bathroom, tell her to call me if she needs anything, and make my way to the phone. Jan's gonna be pissed, not just because it's the middle of the night, but because of who it is. Those two really never were the friendliest to each other, to put it lightly. I wait to hear the sound of running water before I dial the number. The phone rings four times and is answered mid-fifth.
"Babe..? What the hell are you calling me for this early?"
I take a deep breath. "I got an unexpected visit from an old friend who really isn't in the best of shape. I wanted you to know I'm letting her spend the night. If I could lend her--"
"HER? Oh don't tell me it isn't that bitch from your past." I figured she'd say something like that, and I just let her finish ranting before I continue.
"She's in a horrible place right now, Janny. And with the blizzard outside, I can't just throw her back out on the streets. I promise you nothing will happen. May I borrow some clothes for her?"
She sighs loudly, making my ear twitch. "Yeah, whatever. Give her that ugly purple set your mom got me for Christmas. I trust you. Goodnight."
"Goodnight. Love you." I hang up the phone, laughing a tiny bit at her closing remarks. The water has stopped running by the end of my ten minute call. I knock gently on the bathroom door. "You okay in there, A?"
"I'm fine. Thank you." She's starting to sound much better already, and I can't help but smile.
"You want anything to eat? I could whip something up for you."
"Nah. Just clothes and a nap will be more than enough." She goes underwater for a minute, making me nervous, but comes up with a small splash and an added "Thank you". I run and fetch the pair of sweats that Jan 'graciously' gave up, which weren't even taken out of the box, grab a spare towel and new toothbrush from the towel closet, And knock on the door again.
"I have a spare towel for you, and a toothbrush and the clothes. should I just leave them outside the door?" I hear the drain being pulled out of place and a splash of water before she asks me to pass it to her when she opens the door. I listen carefully, making sure that she doesn't slip or fall, and after I give her the items I make my way back to the living room. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all that went on, simply because I didn't expect it. A part of me felt like I was solely to blame for her path choices, not her. That if she didn't leave all those years ago, if I didn't make her leave, she would still be fine. Even if we weren't together, she wouldn't have gotten into her old ways. Wouldn't have been jobless and forced to sell herself to make it by. I lean against the front door, itching for a cigarette, but I fight my urge. I gave it up for Jan's sake and the baby's sake. I wonder, would I have given it up if it was Angel?
Would I have married Angel? Damn it brain, it doesn't matter anymore. I left her. She didn't believe in marriage anyway, and I'm sure she didn't think that we'd last anyway. I didn't. I didn't..
"What are you doing?"
I jump out of my skin, slapping the door out of surprise, making her jump as well. "Oh crap, sorry. You startled me." I look her over from top to bottom. Funny enough she actually makes the sweats work for her, despite them being a bit over-sized. Her hair is slightly less tangled, almost straightened, from the water, and her skin is clear and clean. Amazing what a bath can do, huh? She smiles at me, and I immediately smile back. "You should get to bed. It's late."
"Alright." She plops on the couch without a second thought, burritos herself into the blanket(like how she used to when we lived together), and closes her eyes. I turn off the light, lock the door, and start heading to my room when I hear her soft, sweet voice.
"None of this is your fault. I just want you to know that."
And with that, she falls asleep.
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