I wasn't gonna post this, but I feel risky.

Every time I come here to post of thoughts regarding you, I stop. I try and think of how to word them, I wonder why I even think them,if I'd want to tell these things to you let alone the world, and it all comes down to that being a waste of time. I delete the attempted post, most of the time left blank, and go back to reality.

Reality. The fact that I really don't feel anything for you but an acquaintanceship, as I do with just about everyone else who would consider me 'friend'. I have no friends, I have acquaintances with similar interests whose company I may enjoy and who I may talk to on occasion, but if they were to leave my life, I wouldn't mind. I probably wouldn't even notice unless they bluntly told me 'Hey, I'mma disappear from your life and I never wanna be friends, kthanksbai.' Sure there's Life Support and Love who break that mold, but only two people out of many. I digress.

I like talking to you. I miss hanging out on occasion, sometimes I think about out first unofficial date among others. More often than not I forget of these things, I'll go without thoughts of you for days. Songs with sentiment go unheard, pictures unseen, treasures untouched- not because I avoid them, but because I simply forget about them.

Yesterday, Reality and not-so-reality hit me when I met her. Silly to say, I was nervous. Not that you would have mentioned to her anything about me other than my name, not that there would be tension between us. I was never in this situation in real life. When Love and I were on our break and he found The Girl Who Will Go Unnamed, she added me as a friend on facebook knowing Love and my history. But as for actually meeting the new girlfriend of a former, it never happened before last night. Never even crossed my mind until I heard she would be there. I knew nothing of her but her name, still don't, really.

As soon as I got into the car, I was welcomed with a warm 'Hiiii~', and we actually hit it off. She's pretty, very easy to get along with, and I couldn't help but notice how the mood in the car was extremely light. The whole night went smoothly like that(despite me practically passing out during the movie =w='). I tried not to pay too much attention to the couple, in all honesty, but I could see a kind of chemistry between you and her. Even the way you two spoke showed how comfortable you were. Thinking of our own conversations, they were never as lively or natural, were they? I didn't pay much attention to facial expressions, or eyes. But from the last time I actually saw you face-to-face to last night, I knew you were happier.

As I feared, Hoped, and kinda knew, you found someone better for you than I could have ever hoped to be.